It is 12:05pm in the afternoon, it seems like I have been spending quite a bit of time on this here computer since we have finished all of our home projects. Except for the back yard...I want the Garden of Eden back there and that will take some time.
Next week we will begin our 2nd year at Cooper Academy. I am so excited! probably more so than Amanda. Mike won't be at home on Monday to help begin our year, he was last year. He mentioned that we could start school early so he could pray with us then head off to work...6:00am??? I don't think so.
I have been going thru a Beth Moore study David, 90 days with a Heart Like His. I'm not finished by any means. I am on Day 31. It has been very insightful and I am totally enjoying finding out more about David. Of course we all know about "David and Goliath", "Bethsheba", keeping the sheep and being the youngest child. But there is more than those stories.
This past week, no, this WHOLE month has been really tough for me! Why, I don't know. I have some pent up anger, I am finding it hard to determine if my "perception" is reality or if it's off. Am I just imagining things or are they real??? I feel like I'm in a pit or cave and cannot get out.
Like I am being persecuted from all sides!
While going thru my study last night I read about David hiding from King Saul. And hiding, and hiding. Anyway I came across Psalm 142. In my bible it says "A Plea for Relief from Persecutors". It really touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes.
1 I cry out to the LORD with my voice; With my voice to the LORD I make my supplication.
2 I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare before Him my trouble.
3 When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, Then You knew my path. In the way in which I walk They have secretly set a snare for me.
4 Look on my right hand and see, For there is no one who acknowledges me; Refuge has failed me; No one cares for my soul.
5 I cried out to You, O LORD: I said, “You are my refuge, My portion in the land of the living.
6 Attend to my cry, For I am brought very low; Deliver me from my persecutors, For they are stronger than I.
7 Bring my soul out of prison, That I may praise Your name; The righteous shall surround me, For You shall deal bountifully with me.”
Then it dawned on me: I have been so worried about trying to find who I'm suppose to minister to, what I am "suppose" to do and with whom. Maybe I'm the one who has been persecuting myself?
I have a daughter and husband here at home that probably need to be ministred to. That can be my mission field. And as long as people see: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control in me and my family then maybe I've done my job?
Now, is that self-indulgence or what a Mom is "suppose" to do?
4 comments:
It sounds a whole lot like the Proverbs 31 woman. Taking care of family is priority. Sometimes you do give more to others when it's needed, but others must understand that your family sometimes needs all of you. When you give that to them, you're giving witness as described in Proverbs 31. I think it would only be self indulgence if you chose to shut all others out and focus exclusively on your family. Since you so badly want to minister to family and those outside of your family, I don't think that even comes close.
Dreama, God is using you and your testimony in ways that you are unaware. Even if you cannot see it, your life is producing MUCH FRUIT! I am thankful for the godly women like you that God has placed in my life. Keep the faith girl and know that you are sowing seeds that will produce an abundant harvest. With all the changes of late, you may be wondering what your role is right now... I see that you are in the middle of a harvest after many years of faithful labor. CornerStone is a work that is being planted in our midst because of God's Grace and your family's faithfulness to seek Him. You and your family stuck it out when all seemed lost and remained obedient to God's call...rejoice!!!
You are reaping a great harvest with the acceptance of Michael into Gospel for Asia...that is an awesome harvest!!! Your life is a fruitful branch, as you have been faithful to abide in the true Vine, and to teach your children to do the same. I remember praying with Michael one day this summer. He broke down in gratitude before the Lord, "for the godly mother",
that God had given him. Your Children are rising up and calling you blessed!!!
You needn't compare your "ministry" or personality to anyone else. You are exactly who God made you...and He made you that way for His beautiful purpose!
You are doing a great job juggling all the wonderful opportunities that God has dropped in your lap! You are teaching me...even if you do not realize it. I've been watching you...and I am learning how to be a better steward. So rejoice and know that God is doing good things through your life. We love you!
It's about time you realized that, I'm dying over here...LOL..
I have always told you, not that you have listened, to be who you are in Christ, not what others think you should be or want you to be.
Like I said last night this blog only confirms you are right on because God sppoke this very thing to me this past week.
Man, my back and shoulders sure are stiff..... Are massages part of your ministry?? = )
I love you.....
You've been tagged. Stop by my space to see the rules.
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